Something that often comes up in my work is the difference between circumstantial and transformative change. Circumstantially we move, change jobs, experience loss, beginnings of and endings of relationships. These can be part of transformation or they can be “same poop, different pile”, but transformative change is like a light bulb going on.
As Maya Angelou says “when we know better we do better” and as another teacher Pema Chodron says “when you see your old self in these patterns, thank it”.
There’s a lot of energy that gets freed up and that energy has both a positive and negative current that surges forward. Energy is magnetic, it both attracts and repels. Relationships that feel threatened by change may need to stand back, they may need to manifest reasons or justifications to hang on to their poop and put it in a different pile, or recreate the pattern or lesson with someone else in the role.
At the same time other things come into view (much that was there all along) we have the opportunity to build. This sometimes means treating our life and ground like a construction site. The people who are secure or interested in their growth will be ok with that space. Others that step away may reconnect over time and probably the seating arrangements will have changed.
For those who want things to “get back to normal” this is a tough time and a tough lesson. However if you are questioning what you’ve been basing your life on, how you value people and yourself and recognizing the motivation to evolve, to show up without it all figured out and say “how can I learn from this and be useful?” Then, my dear dear friend, you are on the road. Welcome to the “coming to” of the come as you are party. Good to know you.
I look forward to seeing you!